Sir Ian McKellen on Sherlock Holmes and Love ~ from his interview in support of Museum of London’s Sherlock Holmes exhibition.
y’all go to this website, sign up, fill out some tax crap
write about 5000 words of porn or more - 3000 or more also acceptable, but you don’t really want to go under that. don’t tab to indent, i swear to god, it fucks with amazon’s formatting so bad. don’t write any porn that’d send you to jail IRL, amazon naturally (and thank god) doesn’t accept that shit.
on the ‘bookshelf’ tab, you click ‘add new title’, fill out everything, upload a cover - you can get one free image a month (or maybe a week now, i dunno) from bigstock.com if you need some stock images of people’s abs and stuff but can’t put cash down for anything just yet - and amazon has a cover making application built right into the process too to make things easier or if you don’t know shit about photoshop or whatever.
then you upload the document itself. click save and continue. choose how much you want your title to cost - 2.99 is generally what most people price theirs at, because that’s where amazon’s 70 percent royalties starts at. enroll in kindle select if you want that 70 percent royalties to apply to the whole world, so you’re getting the same royalties no matter where you sell.
then you hit publish and wait and wait and wait and wait for amazon to actually publish the fucking thing.
then you wait 60 days after the end of the month to get your royalties! don’t know why, but that’s how amazon rolls.
and you just keep making more and more titles in the meanwhile to build up that income cuz you’re not likely to make a lot from just one title.
there’s no real ‘gatekeepers’ in kindle erotica - you just start writing and publishing and you keep doing it and building up a library. some genres/kinks/niches sell better than others, and trends come and go, but it’s really all up to you - to do the writing, the publishing, the marketing, and then more writing and publishing. you just keep at it, bit by bit. this is a market where it’s really all about quantity… the bigger your library is, the more sales you’ll start to rack up, building like a snowball. even better if you release titles on like a regular schedule. ideally you want to put up like 2 titles a week, but 1 a week is a good initial goal to shoot for.
you can also go to amazon’s author central to set up an author page to get all your titles in one place and help build a reader base/link readers and buyers in general to.
He is a man of good birth and excellent education, endowed by nature with a phenomenal mathematical faculty.
what do you mean this isnt word for word
Happy 40th, Martin Freeman!
YOU MADE THIS? CAN I MARRY YOU?!
you adorable fuck is also a very fitting tag!
Another one for the noumenoncomic pajama contest. Sherlock with chemical pajamas. Also, he likes using John’s jumper as a blanket.
if you are ASEXUAL, you do not experience SEXUAL ATTRACTION.
if you are AROMANTIC, you do not experience ROMANTIC ATTRACTION.
if you are AROMATIC, you have a PLEASANT AND DISTINCTIVE SMELL.
I’m trying so hard (quite unsuccessfully I might add) to not burst out in laughter in public right now!
HAPPY BIRTHDAY MICHI !!!
(first version had “SH calling” buuuut this fits so much better :P )
I’M SO SPOILED djskdkhskdlskdskd AIWA IS INCREDIBLE OKAY SHe is such a sweetheart I don’t DESERVE THIS SHE IS SO LOVELY I OFTEN THINK ABOUT HOW LOVELY SHE IS AND I GRIN SO HARD AND SHE IS SO TALENTED HOLY CRAP LIKE HOW dsjdksdksj AIWA I’m SO HAPPY WE’RE FRIENDS andweregonnaworkonthingstogether hehehehe
Drawing of Benedict Cumberbatch, done with B pencil by me.